Do You Get Nervous? Here Are 6 Tips to Overcome Social Anxiety

There’s a big secret that most people don’t know about me. Despite my social butterfly tendencies, I have social anxiety.

One of my biggest fears is attending a social function or an event where I have to meet new people or make small talk with acquaintances. Seriously. It’s right up there with my fear of cockroaches and large rodents. (What can I say? 20 years of living in NYC will give you these phobias!)

So, it was with much trepidation that I boarded a plane to attend TravelCon, a 3-day travel blogger conference in Austin, Texas.

When I first learned about this conference, I was thrilled. Of all the different events I’ve attended that are geared towards bloggers, this was the first one that was specifically targeting bloggers who write about travel. I couldn’t wait to meet all of these like-minded people and connect about our biggest passions: travel and writing.

But as the date of the conference approached, my anxiety took over. I didn’t know a single person attending this conference. I was so nervous I almost canceled my trip.

Does this ever happen to you? Do you get really excited about something, only to talk yourself out of it because of your fear and social anxiety?

Facing My Social Anxiety Head-On

Despite my nausea, heart palpitations, and sweaty palms, deep down, I knew that my fear meant I was heading in the right direction. So I pushed myself. I got on that plane and flew to Austin.

On the eve of the conference, many people were meeting up to enjoy Austin’s famed food and music scene. I knew I had two choices. I could either sit in my nice hotel room, admiring the view of downtown, or I could head out and try to find one of these groups of people.

Thankfully, my FOMO won out and I made my way out of the hotel into the balmy Texas evening. It wasn’t long before I connected with a group of people from the conference on Rainey Street, a buzzing area full of bars and restaurants.

From that point on, I experienced 3 full days of non-stop socializing and networking. I felt like I was on a never-ending cycle of speed dating!

It was challenging to constantly be ‘on’ and pitching myself to everyone. But it was also rewarding to meet all of these new people and learn about their blogs and travel experiences. And I was so grateful for everything I absorbed from the incredible keynote speakers and teachers at the breakout sessions.

Related: Every Impression Counts, Especially Your Business Card

When the conference ended, I realized I had developed a few tips that have helped me navigate uncomfortable social situations. If you’re like me and feel social anxiety, I hope the tips below help you feel less overwhelmed and nervous the next time you have to attend a conference or event where you don’t know anyone.

6 Tips to Overcome Social Anxiety

Perspective

What is the event you are attending? And why are you going? If it’s a conference, then it’s about learning and meeting new people. If it’s a social function, it’s about having fun. Whatever your reason is for attending the event, make that your focus. Get excited for the new things you will experience and the people you will meet. Choose a positive perspective to help calm your nerves.

Practice Makes Perfect

If there is one thing I have learned, it’s that anything I’m scared to try becomes easier once I do it, over and over again. The more often we practice or experience something, the more desensitized we become to it. This is also the case for social situations where we feel uncomfortable, like a conference, a wedding, or a holiday party. For me, it meant starting with a couple of 1-day conferences in New York before jumping on a plane to attend a 3-day conference far from home.

Remember, People Are Thinking About Themselves More Than You

This tip is super helpful for me, especially when I’m walking into a sea of strangers and feel complete social paralysis! People are usually thinking about themselves and wrapped up in their own thoughts more than anything else. So when I enter an event, I no longer assume people are staring at and judging me. Instead, I remind myself that they are probably doing the same thing I’m doing, wondering who to talk to or what they should eat for dinner. This reminder puts me at ease and makes it easier to connect with others.

In addition, I make sure to ask a lot of questions with everyone I interact with. It not only takes the focus off of me, but it shows you are engaged in the conversation. Also, I am genuinely interested in learning about other people’s stories, and when I ask someone thoughtful questions, they are more willing to open up and share, which in turn reduces my anxiety and makes it easier for me to share as well.

Exercise and Nutrition

One of the best ways for me to stay in a positive and more confident headspace is through exercise and nutrition. On the days I exercise, I always feel more centered and have less anxiety. And when I eat nutritious and healthy food, I am fueling my body and mind for success. So when I have a big social event or I’m attending a conference, I make sure to fit in workouts and eat a nutritious diet. That’s not to say I don’t indulge and enjoy delicious food and drinks at an event, but having balance is key. Lastly, I always bring a dietary supplement that helps me remain calm. These days, I’m using CBD oil (also known as hemp oil) to help reduce my anxiety. It’s been a game-changer for sure.

Take Breaks

Talking and socializing with people you don’t know can be exhilarating as well as exhausting. It’s important to give yourself a break when you need it. During the second night of the TravelCon conference, I skipped the evening networking party. Instead, I ordered room service, watched a movie, and went to bed early. At first, I felt guilty that I didn’t attend the party. But in hindsight, I know that having that downtime was critical for restoring my energy for the rest of the conference. So now I know to give myself alone time when my energy is low.

Just Breathe

And finally, this tip might sound overly simple, but breathing is one of the most important things we can do to calm ourselves down. Taking a few deep breaths not only draws your mental focus away from your anxiety, but it also stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes a state of calmness. So the next time you’re at a conference, take a few deep breaths to center yourself before you walk into a room full of strangers.

Overall, I had a great time at the TravelCon conference. By using these tips, I was able to overcome my social anxiety and get so much out of this event, including the opportunity to meet great travel writers, journalists, bloggers, and photographers. My only regret is that I didn’t see more of Austin. But now I have a good excuse to return!

Now I’d love to hear from you. How do you handle social anxiety? Are there things you consistently do to quell your nerves when you have a big event or conference to attend? If you have tips or tricks that work for you, please share in the comments below!

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